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Arjay's Anti-Internet Adventures: DAY 1- How to Successfully Disarm Toxic Ramen Noodles

This is the start of a blog series that I just had the idea for which will chronicle my daily struggles trying to use the Internet for nothing but schoolwork, homework, and writing for my blog as part of my effort to go in spoiler-free for the upcoming The Rise of Skywalker, which will have early-showings tonight (cue the social media leaks), and I also will be watching a full week after worldwide release date. You could wish me luck in the comments, but it's not like I'm even reading them. Why? To continue my 11-day-or-so objective of A.A.A. (Arjay's Anti-Internet Adventures), rules as per how I detailed in my 15th Birthday post. That's enough chit-chat for this inevitably soon to be copy-pasted intro paragraph, let's get into Day 1!

Wait... what is this, exactly?

I made this series right on the spot, after not having much homework for much (or maybe just better time management on my behalf...) and also after some more peculiar things happened at school today.

Why the title, A.A.A.? Again, read the intro paragraph. Doesn't this count as using the Internet, you may ask? Yes, but again, as I stated in the intro paragraph, my intention is to not have any back-and-forth interactions (outside of necessary schoolwork, which this sure isn't) or view any outside sources that would get me spoiled as to the ending of the four-decade-long mythology that the entirety of Hollywood will get to watch early tonight, Tweets at the ready. So in other words, I will go in with a fresh and open mind for my birthday party for a once-in-a-lifetime movie franchise conclusion of this scale, as well as get to hibernate from the less productive corners of what is fueled by my WiFi connection. It's a win-win situation!

Which things can I not do online, then? Well, to make a not completely inclusive but simply illustrative list, that includes, but isn't limited to: Discord, personal Gmail, YouTube, Google News, Flipboard, online gaming (because gamertags are a thing), blog comments, non-Favorited text messages, literally all phone notifications, and not using a spoiler-blocking web extension. So basically, 90% of the things I do outside of necessities is now completely absent from my schedule. That also seems like mostly a positive thing to me.

Now that I've got the explanations out of the way that I'm probably never going to repeat again, here's the contents of my first AAA blog story. Don't try this one at home, kids.

Day 1 story: Burnt ramen and an impromptu karate lesson...

I'm feelin' like a meme, you can't stop my streak
I'm indifferent 'bout high school, no phone for a week
I'm RJ, my name's Arjay

I'm Arjay, I'm Arjay, RJ

Yeah, it's smelling gross right now
Someone burnt noodles and it smells so foul, oh
Time to go to bio class
Gonna take some cell notes, but I guess not so fast, oh
No lockdown, I'm in the hall
Ain't a statue in the bathroom stall, no
And since my birthday is past me

I'm livin' life now that I'm fifteen, yeah

Told me, stand in front of the room
Now I think I smell a foul fume, yeah
Now I rushed outside of the caf
Burnt ramen's not a reason to laugh
I'm so happy the smell is gone, I'm movin' on

I'm so happy that I can't smell it, the stench is gone

Wait a minute... this isn't Kinect Star Wars. Oops. Please disregard that flashy singing and dancing sequence. To explain what I am going to talk about as simply and quickly as possible, basically, instead of a super-wordy and drawn-out story, here goes:

It was a typical lunch and I was eating a cheeseburger and watching my friends play a round of Smash Bros. But then, a terrible stench found its way to my nostrils, and just mere seconds later, the entire cafeteria got up and rushed out. I went to closed doors of the computer lab to avoid the terrible smell and fumes. I asked around and found out that someone had accidentally put ramen cup noodles into a microwave without water. Thus, only a minute or so later, it burned (no flames), and smelled really awful. Awful enough for the principal to close the doors to the cafeteria for the rest of lunch.

I mean, it sounds like a scene right out of Gordon Ramsay's kitchen disaster show, but it happened. I'd also like to add that a school near me offers a selective culinary arts program, and I bet that even they probably haven't had a mistake like that anytime recent.

Second unusual event today: In bio class right after, it was going normal until my teacher had a long story to tell about him taking adult karate lessons in 9th grade (don't ask), and then he said, "Arca, why don't  you come to the front of the room so I can demonstrate something." Okay, pretty standard stuff. I had demonstrated stuff in the front of the class before. I expected something that was obviously biology-related.

But thankfully, it wasn't obviously bio-related. He told me to pretend to be an attacker with a knife (holding a dry erase marker), and bark at him to put his hands up. I did that a few times until he was convinced I had done it aggressively enough. Then, with his hands up in the air, he did a swift motion with both of his hands that resulted with the class looking back in awe and the marker flying right out of my hands. He had just "disarmed" me.

What this had to do with bio, again, I don't know, but we got interrupted by the bell before he could finish explaining. My bio teacher spent around five minutes straight trying to teach me how to do the disarming movement effectively. ("No! Not that hand there!" "Cross your arms at the end!") The entire class looked on impatiently, occasionally jokingly yelling things like "Do you have no motor skills, Arca?" or offering to demonstrate with a pencil of their own. I still don't get this magical counterattack, but just a word of warning: He said that if I did it too hard, I could literally break one of his bones. So I don't think that looking it up to try to practice it with any actual force (unlike how he tried it on me, which was extremely gentle and I didn't even feel pain) on a friend or something would be a good idea. But hey, I was supposed to learn about cell walls and ended up getting a mini-lesson on self defense, which I guess makes me the Dragon Warrior now.

That just about wraps up my Day 1 post for my adventures with minimal Internet usage. I don't even know if I'll post more daily, or even ever again, to be honest. This was just an excuse to recount the two strange events (one more positive than the other) of today so that I don't forget about it for some day in the future when I need to look back and laugh. Luckily, as they say, the Internet never forgets (even though I'm pretty sure that doesn't have a positive connotation--but for my purposes of this amusing story for myself and others, it does). It's also the very thing I'll try to not get spoiled by for the next ten days or so. See you soon!


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